Noah wrote this letter to his birthmom. THIS is why we love having an open adoption. Click to enlarge.
We love this picture because it shows how perfect and handsome the boys are -- August 2009
First and foremost, you should know that in our home, birth mothers are special and revered. You will be talked about and prayed for. We are open and honest with our children about their adoption and who their birth mother is. We will be open and honest with you about all the things your baby is doing and learning and as your little one gets older, we will continue to share as many details as we can about their life. You will not be forgotten and your child will always know of your love and sacrifice for them. If you have any questions about this, we are open to discussing them. We would like you to know we are serious about this and we would love to share more about the absolute joy that has come to us, our children, and our boys' birth mothers because of our open adoptions.
Like all good and important things in life, open adoptions take work. Our two adoptions have been very, very different. But we have been so thankful to have loving and honest relationships with both boys' birth mothers. It was and is heart-wrenching to watch them grieve and certainly at times it was hard for them to watch us bond with the babies they love so dearly. But we have seen the tremendous benefits of sharing pictures and letters, emails, phone calls, and visits. We are open to discussing what feels right for your situation because we know that everyone is different.
Noah is old enough to understand adoption and he loves his birth mother. He asks a lot of questions and knows that she placed him for adoption because she loved him and wanted him to have the best and happiest life possible. He knows she wanted him to have a mom and a dad. He also knows that she was really sad when she placed him in our arms, but now she is proud of him and all of the things he is learning how to do. Sam is still too young to understand, but we are sure that between our openness with his birth mother and Noah's good example, he will grow to have a healthy understanding of his life story too.
We love having a birth mother to brag to about all the wonderful things the boys are doing. It's a unique situation to have someone else that thinks our children are the best/cutest/smartest/coolest/funniest boys in the whole world! Plus we love hearing about all the things they are doing and how their lives have been enriched because of adoption too. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions about our hopes for an open adoption.
We explain our friendships with our boys' birthmothers in this article we wrote for another blog.
